What to Bring

There are four words that cause me to sweat and have heart palpitations. “Bring a covered dish.” Now, I am far, far from a good cook, far from an average cook, and close to a bad cook. I have learned that bringing a couple of jars of olives in a covered dish doesn’t seem to be acceptable. I am assuming that since I have never been invited back.

So, I was invited to a different dinner. I guess they hadn’t heard about me yet. I decided to give it the old college try by finding a simple but delicious recipe. On YouTube, I found some simple recipes, including a three-ingredient dinner — perfect. First you cut up a chicken breast, pour olive oil over it and cover it with parmesan cheese (that’s three, using my math), THEN you sprinkle with salt, pepper, garlic salt, onion powder, oregano, and paprika. I think I caught all of the ten ingredients in the three-ingredient recipe. I am not sure I have all of those spices, so I kept looking.

Then I found a ten-minute dinner. You cut up onions and garlic and brown in oil, I assume, since it skipped that part. Maybe brown for three minutes or so? Next you cut a tortilla into strips. Pour a pound of ground meat in with the onions and garlic and cook for sev-en minutes. Add some unknown spices and keep cooking. Add parsley, and keep cooking. Then push a large tortilla into a frying pan and pour the meat mixture over it and add cheese. Cover with another tortilla and cheese, do something fancy with the two tortillas. Then slide out the tortillas and put oil in a pan and slide them back in, turning over after five minutes or so. I never saw what they did with the tortilla strips, but their ten minutes were long gone.

Maybe if I bought a couple of jars of olives stuffed with jalapeños and added tooth picks, I would be invited back to the next “bring a covered dish” get-together.